


Small and Vacant Acts

by ronia



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronia/pseuds/ronia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Juri-sama. I am the Rose Bride. From this day forward, I belong to you."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small and Vacant Acts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zdenka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zdenka/gifts).



> Normally I would use archive warnings, but in this case I found it difficult to apply them, so I'm going to say this instead: if it happened in the Shoujo Kakumei Utena series, it may be alluded to or mentioned in this story. This includes canon instances of dubious consent, non-con, and violence. However, with the exception of violence, this is all only referenced, and not described or explicitly discussed.

"What are you doing here?"

"Good evening, Juri-sama. You won the duel. I am the Rose Bride, and from now on, we are engaged."

"Himemiya, I know what the rules are. Why are you here?"

"As the Rose Bride, I must live with the Engaged."

"No."

"Juri-sama, the rules say –"

"I won a duel, I'm not interested in you."

"Please, Juri-sama. I am the Rose Bride. From this day forward, I belong to you."

"Don't you hear how ridiculous that sounds? Get _out_!"

"Juri-sama –" 

_"I said get out!"_

The door slammed shut, echoing through the empty hall. At Anthy's feet, Chu-chu slipped under the weight of his pack, and fell backward. 

*

Juri returned in the early evening. It was after dusk, and dark enough that even as she walked along the outside hall, she could see light peeking out from under her doorway. At first, it crossed her mind that she might have left it on – but it seemed impossible. She had never done that before, and knew she'd had no reason to turn on a light in the front room before leaving that morning. A second thought occurred to her, but she refused to consider it. Not until she reached for the door, and found it unlocked. 

At first, the front room of her apartment looked no different from how she had left it. Altogether, Juri's living space was the largest of any student on campus. (It had been years since she'd had to bother with a roommate.) The differences she spotted were small – the pens on the writing desk were slightly straighter. A record had been placed in the gramophone near the corner, though it wasn't playing now. The curtains at the large windows were pulled back a little farther, and the floor shone under the light from the lamps. The white vase at the center of the round coffee table had been filled with orange roses. 

After a few seconds, Juri heard water running in the kitchen. This was when it finally occurred to her to feel angry. 

The kitchen door had been left ajar, and Juri yanked it all the way open. And there she was, at the sink, scrubbing it with a sponge. Her hair was pulled back under a thin net, and her weird little rat poked out from one of the pockets of her apron.

"I _told_ you to get out of here."

Anthy looked up, as though she could have not heard Juri come in, and turned to her. 

"I tried to tell you yesterday, Juri-sama." She smiled, putting down the sponge and wiping her hands on her apron. "Now that we're engaged –"

"I didn't win that duel to have a _bride_." Juri rarely felt the need to raise her voice at all, but right now, she couldn't seem to stop herself. "You're supposed to do what I say, right? You can go back to wherever you were before –"

"That's not how it works, Juri-sama." Now Anthy removed her glasses, also cleaning them on the apron. "The rules of the school say the Rose Bride shares her room with the Engaged. Now that I'm engaged to you, I must live here."

She replaced her glasses, smiling again. It grated her enough that Juri pressed her fingernails into her palms, but when she spoke again, her voice was calmer.

"I don't have room for you here."

"I made up a bed in your closet," she answered at once. "Don't worry, Juri-sama, we don't take up very much space."

"That's – ridiculous, you'd use the sofa –" The idea of Anthy sleeping at the bottom of her closet somehow drove out of Juri's mind that she didn't want Anthy in her closet _or_ on her sofa. Anthy's smile slipped, her expression becoming plaintive.

"I thought you might want something more out of the way –"

Juri shook her head, and turned out of the doorway. "No, I mean – I'm going to talk to the administration about this."

"As you wish, Juri-sama." Anthy picked up the sponge again, as Juri's steps retreated through the living room, and the front door slammed shut. 

It made no difference. The administrators, vice principals, professors, and other school officials who all diverted their gaze as she passed and would usually never so much as ask her to repeat herself could all only give her the same answer. They might not have looked her in the face while doing it, or tried their best to find someone higher up for her to blame, but there was no getting around the rules: Anthy Himemiya had been assigned to her quarters by the Chairman himself, who would not rescind his decision. When she tried to visit the Chairman's office, she instead found Touga, waiting by the tower elevator.

"Don't bother, Juri. These are the rules of the Student Council, too. Here." 

He pulled an envelope out of his jacket, and handed it to her. Juri flipped it over, seeing her name written on the back.

"Confirmation from End of the World. The Rose Bride must live with the Engaged." 

She didn't bother to open it. Her hands dropped to her sides as she gazed at the closed elevator doors. "I didn't win the duel to get a bride."

"No, you want disprove the power of miracles, isn't that right?"

Juri didn't answer. Touga walked past her, toward the doors back out to the moonlit campus. "Whatever it is you want, Juri, you're going to need the Rose Bride to get it. And besides –"

He put his hand on the door handle. "She's really not bad company."

By the time Juri made it back to the apartment that night, Anthy had finished scrubbing the kitchen, and turned out the light. The lamps in the front room were off, as well. The sofa was empty, except for something curled up on the far armrest, which Juri quickly realized was the pet. She left it be, and walked to her bedroom, through to the long, walk-in closet. Juri had to turn on the light in her bedroom to see – Anthy had laid out a set of blankets and a pillow on the left side, beneath a long rack of blouses, skirts, and jackets. It made sense to choose this side, as on the other hung slacks and gowns she rarely wore, and several shelves of shoes. Still, she looked absurd curled up on the floor, and even though she seemed to be sleeping, it couldn't have been comfortable. But it didn't seem worth waking her to argue it now; she would just have to deal with it in the morning. 

Juri closed the closet door, and was about to prepare for bed herself when a glint from the front room caught her eye. The light from the bedroom was shining across something on the wall, something she didn't remember being there before. She walked back out, moving slowly as it came into view, a single, rectangle of light in the dark room. It was a pane of glass, the dimmer glow of metal around it, and the bright reflection meant that she couldn't see what was behind the glass right up until she reached it. 

It was a framed, black-and-white photograph: a large group of students arranged on steps, most of them smiling. 

"It's a nice photo, Juri-sama."

Juri turned sharply. Anthy was standing in the bedroom doorway, silhouetted by the light. Juri couldn't see her face. 

"I thought you might like to hang it up."

Without saying a word, Juri turned back to the picture, ripped it from the wall, and threw it down against the floor. The glass shattered, spilling out across the room. In the doorway, Anthy remained still.

*

Sunlight gleamed on the plates Anthy set on the table. Every time she took extra care in how she placed them, aligning the napkins and setting down chopsticks. Her pet was already banging his sticks against the saucer she'd set out for him. Juri had wondered how she could dedicate herself to sweeping the floors and scrubbing the counters and so carefully setting the table, and still want to have that thing around. It was before the incident with her pencil case, after which Juri decided she was better off not trying to understand Anthy at all. These occasional meals were the most they usually saw of one another: they didn't share classes, and Juri didn't stop by the greenhouse. She sometimes spotted the flash of Anthy's glasses from the balcony in the fencing hall, but Anthy never approached her there – Juri wasn't sure whether to feel glad or unsettled by that.

The pan sizzled as Juri poured in a bowl of beaten eggs. She stirred it over the mix of pork, vegetables, and tofu.

"You're such a good cook, Juri-sama," Anthy said. She was now straightening the chopsticks by Juri's plate. 

"It's a good thing one of us is."

She tipped the pan onto their plates. Anthy carried over a jug of water and filled their glasses. As she always did, she waited until Juri was sitting before taking a seat herself. Juri lifted her chopsticks and watched as Anthy spooned some of her own stir-fry onto her pet's saucer. Much of the time, these meals were held in near-total silence. On a few occasions Juri had even read the newspaper or a book, while Anthy ate, or gave up increasingly large portions of her serving to the little rat. 

"Are you disappointed, Himemiya?"

"No, Juri-sama, you're a very good cook."

Juri sighed. "I didn't mean with the food. I meant about the outcome of the duel."

She straightened in her seat, and met Juri's eyes. "Of course not. I'm engaged to you."

"Miki seems very taken with you."

Anthy only shrugged, looking back down to her plate. Juri let them eat in silence for a few minutes, before she spoke again.

"Why did you spend those afternoons playing with Miki, if you don't return his feelings?"

"I will stop playing the piano if you wish, Juri-sama."

"That's not what I meant." She spoke slowly, keeping her voice even. It seemed so unnaturally easy for Anthy to exasperate her. "But if you don't share his feelings, you should reject him."

Anthy's eyes stayed down as she continued her meal. Her pet was using one chopstick to stab the vegetables, scooting them around his plate.

"Himemiya –"

"I'm engaged to you, Juri-sama," she repeated. "You didn't lose the duel. Did you mean to?"

"No." _But that's not about you_ , she thought, but didn't say it. Anthy looked back up, and gave her a smile. It faded as she looked to the rat, who was now ferociously stabbing a bit of egg that wouldn't stay on the stick.

"He did seem upset." It was sad enough, convincing enough, that Juri felt a shiver down her spine. "Maybe I can bring him some roses from the garden."

The day he challenged her, Miki waited until they were alone in the fencing hall, and presented her with a single blue rose. Anthy had put it in a narrow glass vase – it was sitting on the table between them.

Despite herself, she was beginning to admire Anthy's small and vacant acts of cruelty. 

*

"Your skill with a sword has improved tremendously, Arisugawa-san." 

"I _am_ the fencing team captain."

Touga leaned back in his chair. "Now, I think you know that's not what I meant."

Juri was standing at the table, having refused to take the open seat. She wasn't sure why she did it – her hand wrapped around the wrought iron back of it, but she didn't pull the chair out. What seemed most clear in her mind was that she didn't want to stay too long. Since she had become the Engaged, the Student Council meetings didn't seem to hold her interest as they had before. Miki spent most of the proceedings taking notes and failing to hide his childish resentment. Touga never said anything she didn't already know – she only wasn't sure if this was new, or if she just hadn't minded it before. And Saionji hadn't shown up for a meeting in over a month – not since she had defeated him for a second time. 

"I know what you meant."

"Is this the Rose Bride's effect on you?" Touga smiled, and glanced past her, feigning curiosity. "I see you haven't brought her with you."

"Himemiya doesn't need a nanny," said Juri, lifting her hand from the empty chair, and folding her arms. "She's probably down in the rose garden."

"You didn't answer my question."

Behind her, Juri heard the click of Miki's stopwatch. 

"Unless Himemiya was instructing me on how to use a sword," she answered, feeling it out as she spoke, "which she's _not_ , I don't know what effect she could have."

"You were having something of a block before, weren't you?" 

It suddenly seemed quieter, and Juri realized that even Miki's pencil had stopped scraping the pages of his notebook. She took a deep breath, and turned away, walking toward the edge of the long balcony. It was a cloudless day, and as she approached the railing, she just barely heard whistles from the oval track below them. The forest arena lay beyond it, a few of the trees swaying slightly.

"Come on, Juri-san. It's common knowledge, you hit a wall even before you became team captain. Has the Rose Bride driven your breakthrough?"

Juri turned, and looked back to them. Touga had risen from his chair, still smiling as he watched her. Miki was sitting, but his pencil was down, and his mouth was slightly open. It was very unlike him. 

"Juri-san…"

She walked back, right up to Touga, tilting her head to meet his eyes, stopping barely short of him.

"Mr. President, if you're afraid to duel me, I'm sure End of the World would allow you to forfeit your match right now."

His smile flickered.

"Very well," Touga answered. "I'll see you in the arena, Arisugawa-san."

*

Anthy was terrible at bowling, but she seemed to very much enjoy accompanying Juri to the alley. The two times she tried it herself, even the lightest ball they could find seemed to be too much for her to carry, and she only watched bemusedly as the ball she dropped on the lane rolled straight for the gutter. But she liked snacking on French fries and grilled squid. She pointed out all the bright colors in the alley to her pet, and cheered loudly whenever Juri bowled. Juri had asked her to stop, but Anthy seemed to have trouble containing herself. Feeling unable to disinvite her from coming along, Juri also soon gave up trying to tell Anthy what to do. Her presence was really no different than that of the others who often cheered as she made her way to a perfect game.

A perfect game also seemed more likely to happen when Anthy was there. Even when all she did was sit in the plastic seats and play tug of war with her rat over a piece of squid. 

Their first trip came when Anthy noticed Juri taking her bowling bag out, and Juri couldn't come up with any reason to not permit her to come along. After a few visits to the alley, however, Anthy began to ask without prompting when Juri planned to go again. Before, Juri had only gone a couple times a month, but before she really realized it, the outing had become a weekly ritual. Boys and girls from around the school began to congregate in the alley on the day they knew she and Anthy were likely to show up. The boys would offer to fetch her ball for her, and the girls asked for advice on her form.

Shiori Takatasuki was one of them. She turned up every week with her friends. None of them actually bowled – most of the time they hung back and drank sodas or shared bowls of shaved ice, took turns on the pinball machine and flirted with the boys in the other lanes. But they all also took turns asking Juri for advice. When Shiori looked right up into her eyes, Juri felt her throat close up.

But then she also felt Anthy, a short distance behind her. She'd hear her laughter, or glimpse the light on her glasses, and somehow, she felt lighter. She spoke to Shiori smoothly and easily, as though for a few moments, she could step out of herself, leave the paralyzed version back and act like someone who wasn't tied down by –

And then Shiori would leave, and Juri could neatly zip herself back together again.

On their sixth trip, Miki turned up. He politely complimented Juri on her high score, and then sat back in the seats with Anthy, cheering with her and laughing as she fed fries to her pet. The trips became a space for the sullen boy from before to begin to move on. The cheerfulness suited him much better, though Juri would never tell him that. She had missed his goodwill toward her too much to risk it.

But it was on a particularly crowded day in the alley (a day that happened to come before a school-wide holiday, so there were nearly twice as many students as usual) that midway through a game, Juri realized she hadn't heard Anthy's voice in a while. She turned back to see the chair Anthy had been sitting in earlier empty – the rat was sitting in the one next to it, rustling under an overturned bowling shoe. 

Juri nearly asked it where Anthy had gone, but stopped herself. That would be stupid. 

Instead, she looked out into the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of Anthy's hair. She wasn't sure why it was suddenly so important to her – did she miss the cheering that much? The company? No, it was just strange, strange that she'd wander off without saying anything, and that she wouldn't even take her pet with her. 

Finally, Juri spotted her. She was near the open glass doors, talking to someone just behind them. The doors were opened inward, and only partially opaque – Juri could just see a distorted outline of the other person. Tall enough that it was likely a man, definitely too tall to be Miki. Anthy nodded a few times, and then turned away, moving back into the crowd. The man on the other side of the door didn't follow her.

Juri watched Anthy until she's made it back through to their table. The entire time, Anthy kept her eyes down. She didn't seem to notice that Juri had been watching her. As though nothing had happened, she looked to the monitor –

"Juri-sama, you got a strike!"

She settled back down into her chair next to the rat. Juri stared at her.

"Who were you talking to?"

Anthy's smile faded. She folded her hands in her lap, then glanced sideways, down to her pet.

"I saw someone I knew. Did you not want me to leave, Juri-sama?"

"No." 

The moment she looked away, Juri realized she'd been reaching toward her collar. She put her hands down. "I'm sorry. It's fine."

Anthy looked back up to her. Feeling even more discomfited, Juri sighed, and walked off to retrieve her ball. 

*

Anthy often hummed when she was cleaning. A few times Juri recognized the melodies as ones she played with Miki. Others were jingles from the radio, or the music that played in the bowling hall. And sometimes they must have been songs she picked up somewhere else. She knew it was silly, but it was hard for Juri to imagine Anthy at any point before she had joined her life. When she actually thought about it, there were so many question she could ask: where were her parents? Why did she come to this school? Why was she the Rose Bride? That in turn quickly tied to End of the World, to the castle above the arena and what any of these supposed powers, over eternity, miracles, or revolution meant. 

And the one time had asked about _that_ , Anthy only answered, "Mysteries." 

Juri wasn't going to ask again. 

She didn't recognize the melody today. Juri was spending a rare afternoon in, lying on her back across the sofa, her feet up and her head propped against the armrest, orange hair spilling over it. Anthy was cleaning the floor; Juri could hear the little noises her pet made as it rode along the top of the mop. The distraction might bother her, but she was only reading _Il cavaliere di Maison-Rouge_ for class, and even without the intermittent squeaking it likely wouldn't have held her attention. 

Juri did notice when the squeaking stopped. A few minutes passed, as she continued to thumb through her book, but as the silence lingered she shifted, and straightened on the sofa. Anthy had put the mop away, and was pulling off her apron and hat. Apparently she'd been wearing her uniform beneath it.

"Are you done?"

"Yes, Juri-sama," Anthy folded the apron between her hands. "Unless you're not satisfied?"

"No, I didn't –" Juri closed her book. "You don't need to do it at all."

Anthy didn't answer. She left to put away the apron, and Juri stood up, walking around the sofa to put the book down on her writing desk. Juri reached the desk just as she saw it – the same, black-and-white class photograph, set in a shining new frame, and placed in the corner of the desk. 

"You always keep that photo," she heard Anthy call from behind her. "It seems important to you."

It wasn't what stopped Juri short. She let the book fall from her hands, and reached to her neck, confirming it.

She had forgotten to put on her necklace that morning. 

Anthy moved to step next to her, looking down at the photograph. "Do you like it there, Juri-sama?"

"It's fine," she answered, in a low voice. Anthy nodded, and moved away. It wasn't until Juri heard the door open that she looked up.

"Where are you going?"

"To visit my brother."

After a moment of silence, Anthy asked, "Do you want to meet him?"

*

"I'm glad to see you got the delivery, Arisugawa-san."

This kitchen alone was half the size of her apartment. Walking through the Chairman's suite made Juri feel unbalanced, the scale of it seeming to slide her sideways as though she were walking the deck of a ship. It didn't help that there was something unnatural about the enormous windows, their unobstructed view of the sky making the tower feel much taller than she was sure it could be. 

Anthy was standing by him at the counter, letting Chu-chu spread jam over her toast. Juri walked over to her. 

"Thank you for having something sent over."

The Chairman shook his head. "Not at all. It was my fault for keeping you two here so late last night. I hope you slept well?"

"Himemiya stayed up later than I did." Beneath her glasses, Anthy's eyes flicked back and forth, following as her pet swayed the butter knife. She didn't glance up when her name was spoken. 

"What were you doing?" the Chairman asked, but Juri answered for her –

"She said she fell asleep under the telescope."

"She's always enjoyed star-gazing, as have I," he said, with a fond smile. "We often mapped out the constellations together as children. Are you familiar with them, Arisugawa-san?"

"Horoscopes don't really interest me, Mr. Chairman."

"Let me get you some tea, Juri-sama." Anthy said loudly, as though she were interrupting. She picked up her pet, and left to get the kettle from the stove, leaving Juri and the Chairman alone at the counter. Juri could feel him watching her, but wasn't really sure she wanted to see his expression, and so kept her gaze away from his.

"That's a lovely locket, Arisugawa-san."

There was a flash of horror, as Juri realized she hadn't closed the top button of her blouse. But even as her hands sprang up, snapping the button and folding her collar over the golden chain around her neck – and even before she could think to stop herself from reacting so obviously – she felt a little silly for it. The wave of panic didn't feel embarrassing, but just unnecessary. Still, she pressed the button in, and smoothed down her uniform blouse.

"Thank you, Mr. Chairman," she muttered.

"Have anything special in it?"

"A photo of my sister." 

Anthy returned with a teapot, and poured out cups for each of them. The Chairman set a plate down with another slice of bread down in front of her. 

"Why don't you try the jam? I make it from pressed rose petals."

It was the realization that she had no reason to refuse that made Juri decide she really wanted to leave. Still, she accepted the small jar of jam, and spread it across the bread. Anthy was humming again.

"My sister tells me you're quite the chef yourself –"

"I –"

Before she could answer, a bell rang out through the room. Juri looked up and around, but neither Anthy nor the Chairman moved. 

"I wonder who that is," Anthy said softly. The Chairman briefly put his hand on her shoulder, and then walked around the counter, leaving them alone in the kitchen. Juri put down the knife and jam, and pulled her piece of toast apart.

"Your brother's very accommodating."

"Oh yes," Anthy replied. She was watching Chu-chu munch on the toast now. Juri felt her own stomach turn.

"Himemiya, let's just go now."

She looked up. "Right now?"

"Come on, I think I've had enough of his hospitality."

Juri took Anthy's hand, and in turn, Anthy picked up her pet, who was still clinging to his piece of toast. But just as they reached the door, it swung open. At once, Juri stepped away from Anthy.

"I am sorry to impose on you so early –"

"Not at all." The Chairman swung out his arm. "As you can see, I already have guests."

The man he was speaking to followed him in. Juri straightened, the kind of flinch that follows a plate smashing onto the floor, but otherwise didn't move.

"Ruka –"

"Juri-san." He smiled easily, and something rang hollow as he said, "I didn't know you were the Chairman's guest."

She felt a brief flush of embarrassment, just enough for her to answer, "We were just leaving."

The Chairman looked over them, back to the table. "You didn't finish your breakfast." 

"You've been gracious enough, thank you."

With that, she began to walk past the two men, toward the door. Anthy followed behind her. 

"I'll be at the fencing hall this afternoon, Juri-san." Ruka turned to watch them leave. "I hope you've improved since I left."

"Arisugawa-san's talent has become the talk of the school recently." The Chairman was already walking back toward the counter. "I'd love to see her in action one day."

"Really?" Ruka raised his eyebrows. "I'll keep up my expectations then."

She didn't blush a second time. The words didn't make her feel nervous. If anything, Juri felt emboldened. She stopped at the doorway, and turned back, only to tell him – 

"See you later."

*

_If you've set out to disprove the power of miracles, you've already failed._

Anthy was still awake when Juri came in. She had made up the sofa (it had taken Juri more than a month to get her out of that closet), but was sitting up with her pet, watching a small television she'd placed on the table. She and Chu-chu were sharing a bag of potato chips. From the television, a woman's voice was describing a set of kitchen knives.

"Good evening, Juri-sama."

It was well past evening, but Juri nodded. She closed the front door, and set her foil against the wall next to it.

Anthy's eyes followed her, and she set down the chip bag. Her pet jumped into it.

"Did you duel Tsuchiya-sempai?"

"Only in the fencing hall." Juri moved into the room, and took a seat in a chair near the sofa. 

"Did you win?"

She took in a breath, and let it out. "Yes, I did."

Looking up to meet Anthy's eyes, "He was captain of the team before leaving school. I never won a match against him that quickly."

The woman on the television was chopping something. Juri couldn't see it from her angle, but she could hear the quick _thudthudthud_ as the knife hit a cutting board. 

"It's good that you're improving, Juri-sama."

Juri didn't answer at once. The chip bag rustled.

"Are you happy here, Himemiya?"

She had never asked it before. She wasn't entirely sure why she was asking it now. Was the Rose Bride the source of her progress? Was sharing this room with Anthy changing her? It sounded ridiculous when she thought of it – she _had_ changed. Anthy was the only variable. Did she want to know Anthy was getting something in return?

"We're engaged, Juri-sama."

Juri leaned forward, putting her head in her hands. 

"Please, Anthy –"

\- _thudthudthudthud_ -

"I am happy with you, Juri-sama."

The chip bag stopped rustling, but shook slightly with the sound of Chu-chu's snoring. A few minutes later, Juri rose from the chair. She stepped over to the sofa, and leaned forward to shut off the television.

"Let's go to bed, Himemiya."

Anthy started to lift her legs up onto the sofa, but Juri shook her head.

"No. Come on, you can share my bed."

Unlike before, Anthy didn't demure. Juri offered her a hand as she stood up, and they walked silently from the room. 

*

"So Tsuchiya-sempai's become a duelist?"

"Yeah. He challenged me to one this evening."

Anthy had laid a blanket out across the grass, and Juri had brought lunch. She had avoided cooking for Miki before – something about it made her feel too much like his mother. But this afternoon, she didn't want to rely on Anthy to cook, or even bring the food. Miki had brought a board and pieces for shogi, and had it out between him and Anthy, trying to show her how to play. Juri didn't see much potential in it, but then felt slightly guilty for the thought, and said nothing.

"What do you think he wants with End of the World?" Miki asked.

"Who can say?"

"But you're not worried."

It was another cloudless day, with just enough breeze to keep them from getting too warm. Juri was sitting apart from the other two, resting in the slope of the hill they had settled on, the voices of students crossing the park to campus just barely carrying to them. 

"No," Juri answered. "I can't say that I am."

"You've certainly been unstoppable recently." Miki looked back down to the board. "Oh, no, Himemiya-san. That piece can only move forward in that direction."

The wooden pieces scratched against the board. Juri listened to them, to Miki's instructions, but his words to her repeated in her mind. _Unstoppable_. But it's only been recently. Only since she won the Rose Bride. With Anthy, she was undefeated. 

Juri stood up. She took a careful step forward, and another, down the slope of the hill. Neither Miki nor Anthy called after her. She kept walking until she reached the base of the hill, where the soil evened out and then dipped into a wide stream that surrounded the main campus. Sunlight rippled along the surface of the water, and she could see students passing nearby, along the bridge over it. She decided, then, what she was going to do.

And before she could hesitate, or stop herself, Juri reached into her blouse, yanked off her locket, and threw it into the stream.

She could barely see where it hit the water. It meant nothing to the current, which swallowed it up instantly. 

Miki's voice let her know that her absence had been noticed. 

*

"So I've really won now."

"Yes, Juri-sama." They were both in bed, the lamps on the bedside tables switched on. Chu-chu was snoozing in a tiny sleeping bag on the table next to Anthy's side. It was the closest Juri would permit him to the bed. Anthy was sitting with her back against the headboard, the letter open in her hands. "It says we will enter the castle of eternity in three days."

"Makes it sound like we're going to die." 

Anthy didn't say anything. She folded the letter, and set it down in the bed between them. Juri was rubbing moisturizer into her hands.

"You really don't know what's going to happen in there, do you?"

"No, Juri-sama." She took off her glasses, and rubbed the lenses against the sheet before setting them down on the table next to Chu-chu. Juri finished rubbing her hands, and also leaned back against the headboard.

"I don't know if I want to go."

Anthy turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

Juri looked down to her hands, the rose seal ring gleaming on her finger. "I know how things are now. Neither of us knows what's going to happen when we go into this castle, or what any of this means. I don't –"

She titled her head back, to look toward the ceiling. "I don't know what _I_ want from it."

"You can take the ring off," Anthy said softly. "This would all end for you."

"But you can't."

Again, Anthy didn't answer. Juri shifted down, and over, to finally look back to her. "You only come with this."

She wasn't really thinking as she stretched her arm, reaching over toward Anthy. Anthy didn't move. Her eyes stayed forward as Juri's hand came closer to her, reaching to a stray lock of hair that had fallen over her face, and tucking it back behind her ear. Juri moved her hand down, her fingers hovering just over Anthy's shoulder.

"You would have left me for him. If I'd lost the duel."

"I'm engaged to whoever wins the duels, Juri-sama."

 _\- you've already failed_. That's what he told her.

Juri drew back her hand. 

"Then we'll go there together."

She turned over in bed, and reached out to the table to switch off the lamp. Shortly after, Anthy did the same.

*

When she wore that red dress, it was hard to think of her as anything other than 'the Rose Bride.' Her true name seemed like some kind of mask, or maybe like the way sailors named ships that they were especially fond of. Just something you made up to make it seem human, when you were really making it whatever you wanted it to be. It was another thought Juri might have felt guilty for, though now it blinks idly in her mind. Light flooded in from the high arches that lined the room, blazing over the gold stitches, the red fabric.

Juri couldn't lift her head. The hem of the Bride's skirt was as far as she could see. 

"I – I was thinking –"

"What, Juri-sama?"

She swallowed. "My sister –" 

"The one in your locket?"

Vacant cruelties. She had thought they were _vacant_ cruelties. 

"- when sh- when she was a girl, she fell – fell into a river, and a boy – jumped into save her –"

"There isn't much time, Juri-sama."

She put her hand on the flat stone, tried to push herself up, but gasped and fell back again. Juri never took her eyes off the hem of Anthy's dress.

"- someone else saved her, but – but he was swept away –"

"Is that how you see yourself, Arisugawa?" It was _his_ voice. The Chairman was an illusion, like the castle, like the arena, like miracles. There had been nothing to believe in after all. "The prince who nobly died to save the princess?"

It's not. It's not it's not _it's not_. Juri gasped again, trying to choke out a _no_. But it wasn't what she wanted to say. 

"Anthy –" She had to make herself say the name, as hollow as it felt. "- I could've – I could've won."

"Yes. I know."

There were footsteps echoing over the stone. The light seemed to be growing brighter, but Juri didn't know how it could. Something was beginning to twinge painfully inside her, worse than her wound. It rippled throughout her body. 

"Then why –"

"Poor Juri. You really haven't changed at all." 

Something flashed in her eyesight, and clinked quietly against the floor. Juri pushed her hand out, and her fingers tangled into the slender metal chain. 

"I'll see you again, Juri-sama."

The red fabric fluttered, and collapsed, empty in front of her. Another wave of pain ran through her body, and Juri closed her eyes, and curled up, still clutching the necklace. Shadows passed over her eyes, and she could hear a soft, metallic shuffle, like knives being sharpened, sword blades sliding along one another, _thudthudthud_ against a cutting board, but she kept her eyes shut. 

The last sound she heard was a deafening _crack_ -

*

The glazing bar of her bedroom window cast a shadow over the ceiling. It was usually the first thing she saw when she woke up. When she woke early, she stayed flat on her back, her hands folded over the sheets, watching the shadow to see if she would notice it move with the sun. She never watched long enough to really feel she'd seen it. Juri always tried to wait, she really did. But sooner or later, she would either drift back to sleep, or sit up in bed. 

When she sat up, the locket tumbled down from its resting place at the base of her throat. She curled up her knees, and leaned forward, pressing on the latch to pop it open. 

*

"I'd like you to have this." 

A small, and unintended cruelty. One she knew shouldn't bother her – what could the Rose Bride know? Tend to the flowers in the garden, then cut them down at the right moment. She was only doing what she was supposed to do. 

Juri hit her across the face. The rose fell from her hands, petals scattering across the floor. 

"Don't get too familiar."

**Author's Note:**

> Recipient, I really enjoyed your prompt. My brain, however, not only loved it but kind of ran off with it, with this as the result. I want to offer one brief explanation for the ending: my idea was to make this less of an AU altogether, and more like an alternate timeline. Based on the ending of SKU, in which Akio seems to say he had tried other swords before Utena's, I came up with the notion that before Utena's appearance the duels had been part of a perpetually resetting timeline, with each duelist having won at one point. This fic would be Juri's timeline. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> And thanks to my beta, who encouraged this idea, gave wonderful suggestions, and caught my late night typos.


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